i used to have ambition; a sort of zest for doing something meaningful in the world. i’ve slowly metamorphosed into something more prudent, more nihilistic, and far less consequential: armed with questions nobody particularly wants answered and observations that effect no iota of change.

everything has become increasingly difficult to comprehend. the pace of society is too great. there is an overwhelming deficit of knowledge and experience in my head, with the void growing larger. there is too much to learn, even if i’ve picked my most familiar channel of information to wade through. i’ll just drown.

am i content? probably not. but i can’t imagine what contentment feels like anymore.